佚名/Anonymous
With all the energy that only a playful three-year-old can have, Caitlin Hedges clambers over her mum Trish and tugs at her arm for attention. As 37-year-old Trish tickles her, Caitlin collapses in fits of giggles.
Just the fact that they are sitting in their living room in Peterborough is a miracle—because four years ago, Trish had to make a terrible choice. She was suffering from cancer and being treated with chemotherapy. If she continued the treatment, Caitlin would have to be aborted. If Trish chose to have Caitlin and stop the chemotherapy, she was told she would probably die.
“It must be every mother’s nightmare to make that choice,”says Trish, 37,“but there was no contest. I desperately wanted this child to live, even if it meant sacrificing my own life. Isn’t that every mother’s instinct?”
Trish, a former chemist, was diagnosed non-Hodgkins lymphoma, a cancer of the lymph glands, in 1995 and by that time the disease had spread throughout her body.
After more than a year of chemotherapy, Trish was in partial remission but the treatment hadn’t worked as well as doctors had hoped. She was given a break while experts decided what treatment to try next and she and Paul took a holiday in Turkey. While there, they spotted a pair of gold wedding rings and bought them on the spur of the moment.
“Marriage was something we’d always talked about,”says Trish.“We both knew we’d get married one day, but this was the first step to making it happen.”
However, when they arrived home their wedding plans had to be put on hold. Trish discovered another lump and doctors decided to try a more aggressive course of chemotherapy.
But before it began, Trish was desperate to find out whether she could have children or not. She went for tests but they showed the hormone levels in her blood were so low that it would be impossible to conceive.“Strangely enough, the news didn’t bother me,”she says,“Even though the doctors told me I would never have children, I found it impossible to believe.”
Several weeks later, the chemotherapy started but after two weeks Trish felt strangely different. It was nothing specific but her body was telling her something had changed. On a whim, she decided to do a home pregnancy test.
“It was two months since I had been told I would never have children, but I just had a feeling,”says Trish.“Logic told me I couldn’t be, but the test was positive. I was having a baby—our baby. It was the best news I had heard in years. All the pain disappeared and all I could think about was the new life which was growing inside me and my maternal instinct to protect it.”
“I didn’t think about the cancer, the chemotherapy or anything else except our child. That was until the doctor issued me with an ultimatum.”Trish could continue with her cancer treatment but it would mean aborting her child. Or she could stop the treatment, carry on with the pregnancy and allow the cancer to spread.
“There was not a moment’s hesitation for me,”says Trish.“I knew there was a risk but I put it out of my mind. Deep down, I know Paul was worried sick about me but he also knew how much I wanted this baby—we both did.”
“My decision was perhaps hardest for my mum and dad—I was their little girl and they were so afraid of losing me. I would have given up my life for my baby and I know they would have done just the same for me.”
Luckily, Trish sailed through her pregnancy with no complications.“I had more energy and vitality than I had had in years. If doctors could have prescribed a perfect medicine for my cancer, pregnancy would have been it. It was a 10-hour labour but I didn’t take any gas or painkillers—I’d rather give birth to 10 babies in a row than go through one session of chemotherapy.”And On May 8, 1998, Caitlin was born safe and well and Trish was still in partial remission. Five months later, though, Trish discovered another lump on her neck—the lymphoma was back.
“I was terrified,”she says.“It wasn’t just me I was thinking about, it was Caitlin. I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be around for her. How would she manage without a mum?”
Trish started another course of chemotherapy. With a baby to care for, it was gruelling but after only six weeks Trish was free of the cancer.
“I couldn’t believe it,”she says.“After all those months of chemotherapy, I was amazed that this time it had worked so quickly. I felt so lucky. I’d been given a fresh chance at life.”
The cancer had been beaten, but Trish’s battles were far from over.“The chemotherapy had left me with terrible joint problems,”she says.“I was crippled with pain and my body was still so tired from the chemotherapy. Looking after a baby was a constant struggle. I felt incredibly guilty, like I was letting Caitlin down. I wanted her so much but at times I couldn’t even bath her, let alone play with her.”
There were times when Trish was so ill she couldn’t even carry Caitlin downstairs.“I would lay her across my lap and come down the stair on my bum.”
But now, gradually, Trish’s body is recovering. It is a long, slow process but she is regaining her strength and three months ago Trish and Paul got married—with Caitlin as chief bridesmaid.
“The wedding rings we bought five years ago were badly tarnished,”says Trish,“but they polished up well and it’s wonderful that we got to use them at last. I can’t believe what we have come through but the important thing is we have come through.”“Four years ago, I didn’t even know if I’d be alive today and I certainly never dreamed I’d have such a beautiful little girl, but I’ve realised just how precious life is. Caitlin is my gift from God and not a day goes by that I’m not grateful for the time I have with her.”
3岁的凯特琳·赫奇斯用尽全身所有的力气，顽皮地爬到妈妈特里斯的身上，用力地拉着妈妈的胳膊以引起她的注意。当37岁的特里斯胳肢她时，她痒得哈哈笑着倒了下去。
她们能像这样坐在彼德伯勒家的起居室里真的是个奇迹。因为在四年前，特里斯不得不作一个可怕的抉择。她患上了癌症，并接受了化疗。如果她继续治疗，凯特琳将会被流掉。如果她选择保住凯特琳，停止化疗的话，她就可能被宣告死亡。
“要作这样的选择，一定是每位母亲最可怕的事情，”37岁的特里斯说，“但我的心情异常平静，我极其希望这个孩子能活下来，即便这意味着我自己生命的丧失。难道这不是每位母亲的本能吗？”
在1995年，作为药剂师的特里斯被诊断为非何杰金氏淋巴瘤——一种淋巴腺癌，当时她的癌细胞已经扩散到全身。
经过一年多的化疗，特里斯的病情得到了局部的控制，但是治疗的结果并不像医生所期待的那样令人满意。在专家们决定下一步将如何尝试治疗时，特里斯也有了一段休息的时间。在这段时间里，她与保罗到土耳其一起去度假。在土耳其的那段时间里，他们看到了一对黄金结婚戒指，当即就买了下来。
“结婚是我们经常谈论的问题，”特里斯说，“我们都知道总有一天我们会结婚的，但是结婚戒指是使它成为现实要走的第一步。”
然而，他们回来后，结婚的计划不得不向后推延。医生在特里斯的身体里发现了另一个肿块，并决定尝试更加大胆的化疗程序。
可是，在新的化疗开始之前，特里斯急切地想知道她是否能有自己的孩子。于是，她去作了检查，检查的结果显示，她血液中的激素含量太低，使她不可能怀孕。“非常奇怪的是，这一消息丝毫没有对我产生困扰，”她说，“尽管医生告诉我永远也不会有自己的孩子，但我认为那是不可能的。”
几个星期后，新的化疗开始了，两周后，特里斯有了异常的感觉。具体她也说不清，但是她的身体告诉她有了一些变化。兴致一来，她决定作个家庭怀孕测试。
“那就发生在我被告知不能怀孕的两个月后，我就是有那么一种感觉，”特里斯说，“逻辑上讲我是不能怀孕的，可是孕检的结果是阳性。我怀孕了——是我们的孩子。这是这几年来我听到的最好的消息。一时间，所有疼痛都消失得无影无踪，我唯一能想到的就是在我体内生长的新生命，母性的本能使我不顾一切地去保护她。”
“我不再考虑癌症、化疗，以及我们孩子之外的其他任何事情，直到医生对我下了最后通牒。”特里斯可以继续她的癌症治疗，但这将意味着她的孩子会流产；或者她选择停止治疗继续妊娠，任由癌细胞自由地扩散。
“我丝毫没有犹豫，”特里斯说，“我知道我这样做冒着很大的危险，但是我已将它置之度外。在我的内心深处，我知道保罗为我的疾病担心，而他也知道我是多么想要这个孩子，事实上是我们两个人都很想要。”
“或许，我的这一决定对于我的父母来说是最痛心的事情——我是他们最小的孩子，他们是那样害怕失去我。我宁愿为我的孩子献出生命，我知道父母也会为我这样做的。”
在没有并发症的情况下，特里斯幸运地度过了孕期。“我的精力和活力比前几年更充沛。如果说医生为我的疾病开出了一剂良药的话，那么怀孕就是那剂药。我用了10个小时才生下我的孩子，但我没吸一口氧，也没用任何止痛药——我宁愿接连生10个孩子，也不愿意作一个疗程的化疗。”1998年5月8日，凯特琳安全健康地出生了，而特里斯的癌症依旧在局部控制之中。但是五个月后，特里斯在她的脖子上发现了一个肿块，淋巴癌又复发了。
“我恐惧至极，”她说，“我想的不是自己，而是凯特琳。我害怕我不能陪在她的身边。没有了妈妈，她该怎么办？”
特里斯又开始了另一个新的化疗程序。一边要照顾孩子，一边作化疗，这对于特里斯来说是很累的。短短的六周之后，特里斯战胜了癌症。
“我几乎不能相信，”她说，“化疗了这么多月后，我非常惊讶这次能有这么快的疗效。我觉得我是如此幸运，在我的身上又赋予了一次新的生存机会。”
尽管战胜了癌症，但是特里斯的战役远远没有结束。“化疗给我的关节造成了严重的伤害，”她说，“巨大的疼痛让我成了跛子，化疗使我疲惫不堪。照顾孩子是一项长期的斗争，而照看一个婴儿就像一场经常性的战斗。我感觉对凯特琳有一种负罪感，好像我辜负了她一样。我那么想要她，可是又不能陪她玩耍，有时我甚至都不能给她洗澡。”
当特里斯疼得非常厉害时，她甚至不能抱凯特琳下楼。“我会把她夹在腿中间，向前挪着下楼。”
但是现在，特里斯的身体正在渐渐地恢复。那是一个漫长而缓慢的过程，但是她正恢复体力。并且，特里斯和保罗在三个月前结了婚，还有作为重要女傧相的凯特琳。
“五年前我们买的那对结婚戒指锈蚀得很严重，”特里斯说，“但是它们又被擦亮了，看上去还是非常漂亮，最后我们还是用了它们。我简直不能相信我所经历的一切。不过，重要的是我们已经走过去了。”“四年前，我甚至不知道能否活到今天，我真的做梦也没想到我能有这样一个漂亮的小女儿。然而，我真的领悟到了生命的可贵。凯特琳是上天赐给我的礼物，拥有她的每一天我都充满了感激。”
心灵小语
因为无法阻挡的母爱，一个被人们认为不可能的小生命诞生了，一次奇迹般的生命延续成为了现实。爱，本身就是一种奇迹和力量。
chemotherapy n.化学疗法；化学治疗
例 Chemotherapy is used to help kill cancer cells and to prevent cancer’s return.
化学疗法被用来帮助杀死癌细胞，并且预防癌症复发。
nightmare n.噩梦；梦魇
例 That is undoubtedly another nightmare.
这无疑是另一个噩梦。
ultimatum n.最后通牒；最终提案
例 His wife gave him an ultimatum:“You want to be the home or hotel?”
妻子给他下了最后通牒：“你要家还是要旅馆？”
incredibly adj.难以置信的；不可思议的；惊人的；未必可能的
例 No, they’re incredibly stupid, they swallow bananas with peels.
不，他们笨得令人难以置信，他们把香蕉和皮一起吞下去。
我宁愿为我的孩子献出生命，我知道父母也会为我这样做的。
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照顾孩子是一项长期的斗争，而照看一个婴儿就像一场经常性的战斗。
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然而，我真的领悟到了生命的可贵。
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We both knew we’d get married one day.
get married：结婚
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Even though the doctors told me I would never have children.
even though：即使；纵然；尽管；虽然；甚至
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