The reception, or wedding breakfast as it was once called, is almost as old as the ceremony itself. It was originally introduced as a way of celebrating the marriage and the joining of the two families. Historically, only close family members or members of the church attended, unlike today where everyone invited to the ceremony normally attends the reception.

Today, the normal format for the reception would be drinks on arrival followed by a meal, speeches, cutting of the cake and then less formal celebrations such as a disco or dancing. Financial constraints may dictate which style of reception the bride, groom and their families choose. Some may opt for a buffet style affair while others prefer a sit-down meal with unlimited drinks.

■The Guest List

You won’t actually know how large the guest list could be until you have booked the reception and ceremony venues. It’s always a good idea to establish numbers of family members and close friends that will make up the essential invites. Before compiling the guest list, a budget for the reception must be decided and agreed between those who will be paying the bill. Once the budget is established, you could accordingly decide how many people you can invite. Next is the time to agree ground rules. You may decide on a separate list of those that you would rather not attend (perhaps ex-girl-friends/ex-boyfriends, etc.). If parents are paying, you should ask them how many people they wish to invite. Be prepared for some negotiation if they want to invite far more people than you had anticipated.

Just keep it in mind: it is your wedding day, and ultimately you decide the names and numbers that will appear on the final guest list.

■Receiving Guests

Having left the ceremony before everyone else, the bride and groom will hopefully be first to arrive at the reception, closely followed by the parents. They all stand in a receiving line to greet the guests individually as they arrive. The hosts (usually the bride’s parents) stand at the front of the line, and ushers would introduce each guest by name to bride’s mother (it’s a good idea to have a usher for each family). The groom’s parents would be the next in line, followed by the bride and groom and any other attendants. The guests then make their way to their respective tables. When all the guests have been received, the bride and groom lead the bridal party to the top table and take their seats. Guests should remain standing until the bride and groom are seated. For smaller functions, it is not unusual for the bride and groom to welcome guests themselves.

■Seating Plan

It is essential to have a seating plan to avoid confusion. A plan of the room, numbers on tables and hand-written place cards (in the style of the invitation) will help the guests find their seats with the minimum of fuss. The ushers are extremely helpful now in directing the guests to their table and assisting anyone who are having difficulty finding their seat. Surely, it is a good idea to have a few extra places available for unexpected guests.

The reception venue will recommend the best table layout depending on the number of guests attending. Round tables give a less formal impression but allow partners to sit next to each other. If long tables are used, partners would normally sit opposite each another. Try to group together guests who know each other when formulating the seating plan. It might also be beneficial to consider guests’ interests and ages.

The most popular layout is a long top table for the bridal party and a series of small round tables for the guests. Smaller display tables for the cake and gifts should also be provided.

■The Top Table

The chart below shows a traditional top table seating plan. There are other possible scenarios where certain parties would benefit by not sitting next to each other. For example, divorced parents, or there is a conflict between the two sets of parents. In these cases, it is advisable to adopt an alternative seating arrangement in order to satisfy all parties.

Traditional seating plan:

One of alternative plans:

■Cutting the Cake

Traditionally, the cake is cut after the speeches and toasts, and this would normally conclude the formal part of the wedding reception. It was believed, in order for the bride to bear children, she (with the help of her groom) should cut the first slice. Today the first cut is more symbolic to the couple’s shared future together. The couple would normally pose for photographs just prior to cutting the first slice, allowing guests to take snaps of the occasion. It is said that the cake spreads good fortune to all who eat it, hence the reason for sending a slice to all those who were unable to attend the wedding.

■Entertainment

Speeches and the newlyweds’ first dance are the only traditional entertainment at the reception. As for modern weddings, it is common to have a very informal evening party, usually including a buffet. Sometimes a live band or comedian provides the entertainment, but more often a disco is preferred. The host would normally invite a wider circle of friends to the evening party, some of whom may choose to bring gifts. The best man would be responsible for the gift matters. Don’t forget to inform the guests when the reception is expected to end. The host should explain it to the elderly guests if the party is expected to last into the early hours, so that they might leave whenever they wish without causing offence. Traditionally, it is considered rude to leave the party before the bride and groom.

■Departure of the Bride & Groom

The best man and the couple’s friends would be traditionally a little mischievous when the newlyweds departing. They might decorate the going away car with tin cans, balloons and crazy foam without the couple’s knowledge. The couple would have changed into their going away outfits by this time, and the best man would announce their departure. The guests would usually participate in the throwing of rice or confetti over the happy couple. So as not to disappoint the guests, it is recommended the couple have a strategically placed second car a few miles up the road, in which they would continue their journey.