Opening the Door

佚名/Anonymous

“乔？是你吗？”篮球赛上一个有些面熟的女人问我。“玛西？”

她大笑着惊叫道：“真的是你！天哪，再次见到你真高兴啊！”见到玛西，我也很开心。在过去的几十年中，我时常会想起她。几年前，我听一个我们都认识的朋友说，玛西在最近十年里过得很苦，当时，我差点儿要去追寻她的下落。能在篮球赛上碰面，真是很幸运。

我们聊了会儿家常，孩子和事业、爱人和住房、教育和娱乐（仅用几句话就概括了25年的生活，真是让人感到有些不安）。我们用“你见过……”“你知道……”询问了对方一些问题，又回忆了过去的美好和沮丧的时光。之后，玛西沉默了一会儿，向在售货区闲逛的人群望去。

她说：“乔，你知道的，我总是想对你说，你不知道，当初那样对你，我感到很难过。”我有些尴尬，人总是不愿记住曾经被别人随便抛弃的日子。

我答道：“我很好，不用把它放在心上。”至少我现在是这样认为的。“但是，我曾经那么傻。”她继续说。我心想，你确实是。“那时我们都太年轻。”我说。

“我知道，”她说，“但那不是理由，”她犹豫了一下，又接着说，“一想起那样对你，愧疚感就折磨着我。我想跟你说‘很抱歉’，所以，对不起。”她脸上的微笑温暖而真诚。她的眼中好像有什么东西——很像是解脱——融化了我心中所有的怨恨，这些怨恨是在她伤我心后的这些年里积累起来的。

“好的，我接受你的道歉！”我说。这一瞬间快乐包围了我，我伸出一只胳膊，快速地给了她一个拥抱。就在这时，人群中发出了一阵欢呼声，我和玛西把注意力转回到赛场。当我再看她时，她已经走了。但是，我们短暂交谈时的那种温暖和美妙的感觉还在，直到今天，我一想起这件事仍然感到温暖和甜美。

我们都有痛苦和难过的记忆——做了或是没有做的事，说了或是没有说的话。我们都在忍受他人所带来的伤痛，有些很轻微，有些则很重。宽恕这剂良药可以减轻良心的谴责，可以安慰受伤的心灵，即使事隔多年，疗效依然明显。

当然，只说“对不起”和“原谅你”是不够的。虽然这些简单的语句有着强大的力量，但是对那些虚伪的人，或者只想控制、操纵或是利用别人的人，这些语言是没有用的。然而，当说这些话语的人真心诚意地表达出这些话语，而听者也感受到了这份真诚时，这些话语就能打开心灵的奇迹之门，这就是宽恕所能创造的奇迹。

"Joe？ Is that you？" The woman speaking to me at the basketball game looked vaguely familiar. "Marci？"

"It is you！" She exclaimed， smiling broadly. "Gosh， it's good to see you again！" It was good to see Marci， too. Off and on during the past few decades I've wondered about her. I almost tried to track her down a few years ago after talking to a mutual friend who had indicated that the last decade had been pretty rocky for Marci. So bumping into her at the basketball game was， at the very least， fortuitous.

We spent a few minutes catching up on the business of our lives—kids and careers， spouses and houses， education and recreation (it's always a little disconcerting to see how few words are required to summarize 25 years of living). We played a little "have you seen…" and "did you know…" and we reminisced about the good old， bad old days. Then Marci grew quiet for a moment， looking out over the crowd milling about the concession area.

"You know， Joe，" she said， "I've always wanted to tell you… how… you know… how sorry I am for the way I treated you." I squirmed. One does not like to remember when one has been unceremoniously dumped.

"It's OK，" I said. "No big deal." At least， I thought to myself， not now. "But I was such a jerk，" she continued. Yes you were， I thought. "We were both pretty young，" I said.

"I know，" she said. "But that's no excuse for…" She hesitated， then continued. "It's just always bothered me， remembering how mean I was to you. And I've wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. So… I'm sorry." The smile on her face was warm and sincere. And there was something in her eyes—it looked a lot like relief—that melted any vestiges of icy resentment that may have built up within me during the years since she had slam-dunked my heart.

"OK，" I said. "Apology accepted！" Overcome by the sweetness of the moment， I reached an arm around her and gave her a quick hug. Just then， the crowd erupted with a huge cheer， and Marci and I both returned our attention to the game. By the time I looked over to where she had been， she was gone. But the warm， wonderful feeling of our brief exchange was still there， and continues to this day whenever I think about it.

We all carry bitter， discomforting memories of deeds done or undone， and words said or unsaid. And we all bear wounds—some slight， some not-so-slight—that have been inflicted upon us by others. The healing balm of forgiveness can soothe a troubled conscience and bring peace to an injured soul—even years after the fact.

Of course， it isn't enough to just say "I'm sorry" and "You're forgiven". While there is indeed great power in those simple words， it is not available to those who are insincere， or who are only looking for a way to control， manipulate or exploit. But when those words are truly felt and sincerely expressed， they can open the door to miracles of the heart and soul—miracles of forgiveness.