佚名/Anonymous

Time is running out for my friend. While we are sitting at lunch she casually mentions she and her husband are thinking of starting a family.“We’re taking a survey,”she says, half-joking.“Do you think I should have a baby?”

“It will change your life,”I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.“I know,”she says,“no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous holidays……”

But that’s not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be vulnerable forever.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without thinking,“What if that had been MY child?”That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting, and she will think her baby’s sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her child is all right.

I want my friend to know that every decision will no longer be routine. That a five-year-old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room rather than the women’s at a restaurant will become a major dilemma. The issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in the lavatory. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the added weight of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her own life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. She would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years—not to accomplish her own dreams—but to watch her children accomplish theirs.

I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to hit a ball. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.

My friend’s look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.“You’ll never regret it.”I say finally. Then, squeezing my friend’s hand, I offer a prayer for her and me and all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this holiest of callings.

我的朋友常常感叹岁月不饶人。当我们坐在一起吃饭时，她偶然提到她和丈夫正考虑要个孩子的问题。“我们在作一个调查，”她半开玩笑地说，“你觉得我们是否该要孩子呢？”

“他会改变你的生活。”我以适中的口吻小心翼翼地说。“这个我知道，”她说，“周末不能再睡懒觉了，节假日也不能随心所欲地做自己想做的事情了……”

但我指的并不是这些。我看了看她，考虑该和她说些什么。我想让她知道在分娩课上永远也学不到的一些东西。我想告诉她：分娩的有形伤疤可以愈合，但做母亲的无形伤疤永难愈合，并且会使她的情感变得极其脆弱。

我要告诫她，做了母亲后，看报纸时她便会情不自禁地联想：假如我的孩子那样，我会怎么样呢？飞机失事、住宅火灾都会让她心惊胆战。看到饥寒交迫的孩子的图片，她会想：世界上没有比眼睁睁地看着自己的孩子饿死更惨的事了。我打量了一下她修剪精美的指甲和时髦考究的衣着，心想：不论她现在打扮如何讲究，做了母亲后的她都会变得原始而不修边幅，如护崽的母熊。

我想我有必要提醒她，不管她对工作倾心投入了多少年，一旦做了母亲，便会打破工作常规。她完全可以把孩子托付给别人照看，但没准儿哪天她要去参加一次重要的商务会议，也会情不自禁地想起宝宝身上所散发的甜甜乳香。她必须努力地克制自己，以免只是为了看看孩子是否无恙而中途跑回家。

我想让朋友知道，有了孩子后，她的任何决定将不会都按惯例来做。在饭馆里，五岁的儿子宁愿去男厕而不去女厕，这是她将陷入的又一困境。该不该尊重孩子的独立和性别意识，让他独自去男厕所，冒险面对可能的儿童性骚扰呢？她要慎重考虑一番。无论她在办公室多么干练、果敢，作为母亲，她却经常会为自己所作过的决定而后悔不已。

我凝视着这位妩媚动人的朋友，我想让她彻底明白，她还会恢复到怀孕前的体重，但她会不再像以前那么在意这个问题了。随着孩子的降生，她原本视为宝贵的生命也不再宝贵了。为了孩子，她甘愿随时献出自己的生命。她也开始希望能多活几年，不是为了实现自己的理想去争取时间，而是希望能有机会看到孩子们美梦成真的欢欣。

我想向朋友描述当我看到孩子学会击球时的兴奋状态。我这样做，是想让她也观察宝宝第一次触摸狗的绒毛时开怀大笑的瞬间。我想让她也品味快乐，虽然这种快乐真实得有些令人痛心。

朋友的神情使我意识到了自己已是热泪盈眶。“你永远不会后悔。”我最后说了一句，然后握紧她的手，我要祈祷，为她，为自己，为每一位响应母亲神圣职责召唤的，将为人母的平凡女性。

spontaneous adj.自发的；自然产生的

例 The volcano breaks out spontaneous.

火山爆发是自发的。

vulnerable adj.易受伤害的；有弱点的

例 She is very young and vulnerable to temptation、fraud.

她很年轻，易受**、易受骗上当。

sophisticated adj.诡辩的；久经世故的

例 Because love has its growth and a sophisticated process slowly.

因为爱有其成长与成熟的一个缓慢过程。pregnancy n.怀孕

例 Her second pregnancy was easy.

她第二次怀孕很轻松。

我的朋友常常感叹岁月不饶人。

例___________________________________________________________________

我想告诉她：分娩的有形伤疤可以愈合，但做母亲的无形伤疤永难愈合，并且会使她的情感变得极其脆弱。

例___________________________________________________________________

我最后说了一句，然后握紧她的手。我要祈祷，为她，为自己，为每一位响应母亲神圣职责召唤的，将为人母的平凡女性。

例___________________________________________________________________

She might arrange for child care.

arrange for：为……作准备（安排）

造___________________________________________________________________

That a five-year-old boy’s desire to go to the men’s room……

desire to：希望

造___________________________________________________________________