佚名/Anonymous

Irritating speech habits destroy our professional credibility. Examples of irritating speech habits are sentences that end with dangling prepositions (Where did you hang your coat at?) and conversations peppered with "ums," "uhs," "like," and other space-filler noises. We'll be focusing here on another speech habit one that sends a subtle message to listeners that it's okay to abdicate responsibility.

How can a mere speech habit keep us from reflecting professionalism while causing us to abdicate responsibility? Let me demonstrate by example. In seminars I conduct around the country, I often ask a question of my clients: What physical manifestations do you personally experience when you find yourself in a tense situation? Generally, the answer to this question is phrased in the following ways:

"You get a tight throat."

"Your palms get sweaty."

"Your heart starts to race."

Now, notice the answers and how they are phrased versus the way the question was asked. In the question I asked for what you personally experience. But the people answering my question have shifted the response away from being about themselves (thus, abdicating responsibility for their feelings) by choosing to use the pronoun "you" in place of "I". This shift of focus conveys a sense of shifting responsibility because it indicates a refusal to accept what they are experiencing. In this situation, the respondents are essentially suggesting that they are speaking for me and what I experience in these situations rather than speaking for themselves.

In these situations, I realize that the respondents are not intentionally or deliberately saying they are speaking for me. But the subtle shift in pronoun usage shifts the focus away from themselves and on to someone else. And any time we abdicate responsibility for something we're experiencing, we're damaging our professional credibility. We may unintentionally be implying to our listeners that we are refusing to accept responsibility for our actions and responses. You mean accepting or abdicating responsibility is that subtle? Yes, that subtle and that damaging to our credibility.

As professionals, we should be interested in how we represent ourselves in every communication situation. A slight lapse of conscious effort on our part to communicate clearly and responsibly indicates to our partners in communication that we are shifting responsibility away from ourselves.

When asked a pointed question such as, What physical manifestations do you personally experience when you find yourself in a tense situation? The response we give conveys whether we're willing to accept responsibility for our behavior and responses. If our subordinates sense that we are abdicating responsibility, they in turn may take it as acceptable behavior when they are asked challenging questions. Likewise, we never want to unintentionally send a message to our supervisors that we are attempting to avoid responsibility.

The consequences of an unguarded communication moment are enormous. Professionals who have attained high-level positions in their organizations rarely abdicate responsibility. When they do, they incur severe consequences for their actions. When we keep the larger picture and the more costly consequences in mind, it becomes easier to see that we can never let our guards down when it comes to communicating professionally. We must constantly be aware of each word we choose reflects our beliefs about ourselves and our responsibility in the matters at hand.

Ensuring that we are accepting responsibility with our words as well as with our actions will help us protect our professional credibility. And there's another advantage: We'll be modeling the behavior we want from others, encouraging them to accept responsibility for themselves.

令人厌烦的说话习惯有损你的专业可信度。我们以介词结尾的句子为例（你把你的外套挂在哪里？），还有交谈中连续出现的口语“嗯”“啊”“噢”和其他的一些口头语。在这里，我们重点说一说另一种说话习惯，这种习惯在说话时会将“放弃职责也无所谓”的信息传递给对方。

仅仅是说话的习惯，又是怎样反映我们的专业性，使我们疏于职守呢？让我来举例说明。在我公司举行的全国研讨会上，我经常会问我的客户：当你发现自己身处紧张的局面中时，你身体方面的反应是什么样的？通常，这个问题的答案都是以下几种：

“你感觉嗓子发紧。”

“你的手掌冒汗。”

“你的心跳加速。”

现在，请注意观察一下这些回答，看看他们是如何组织语言回答这个问题的。在问题中，我问的是“你自己的亲身经历”，但是人们在回答问题时却用“你”代替了“我”（因此，放弃了他们的感觉责任），将回答从自己身上转移开了。这种转移主要是一种责任的转移，因为这表明了他们拒绝接受自己正在经历的东西。在这种情况下，回答者从本质上暗示了他们是在说我在这种境况中的反应，而不是在说他们。

我意识到，在这些情况下，回答者并不是有意说我，而是代词上的微妙变化将问题的主体对象从他们身上转移到了别人身上。无论什么时候，当我们将责任转嫁到别的事物上时，我们的专业性就会受到损害。也许我们在不经意间暗示了听者，我们拒绝为我们的行为与反应负责。你是说承担或放弃责任是很微妙的事情吗？是的，是微妙的，并且正损害着我们的可信度。

身为专业人士的我们，应当注意如何在每一个场合很好地表现自己。交流中我们有意识犯下的小错误，可以清晰地暗示给对方，我们正在将责任从自己的身上移开。

当我们问一个尖锐的问题时，例如，当你发现自己身处紧张的局面中时，你的身体有什么反应？我们的回答可以表明我们是否愿意为自己的行为和反应负责。如果我们的下属人员意识到我们在放弃职责，那么他们可能会认为，当被问及有挑战性的问题时，他们放弃责任也是可以的。同样，我们永远也不希望被上级知道，我们正试图逃避责任。

粗心大意交谈的后果是很严重的。位高权重的专业人员很少放弃责任。一旦这样做了，一定会招致严重的后果。当我们心中有了大局意识，知道了放弃责任的高昂代价时，就很容易明白，专业交谈就不会让我们的客户失望。在谈及专业问题时，时刻都需要小心谨慎。我们必须时刻意识到，我们所选用的每一个字都反映了我们的信仰以及我们对手头事情的责任。

我们要确保在语言和行动上都承担起责任，这会保护我们的专业可信度。这样做的另一个优点是：我们正在为他人做出榜样，鼓励他们承担起自己的责任。

The important thing in life is to have a great aim, and the determination to attain it.

—Goethe

人生重要的事情就是确定一个伟大的目标，并决心实现它。

——歌德

irritating[?iri?teiti?]adj.刺激的；使愤怒的；气人的

Readers may find the pretension and arrogance of her style irritating.

读者能感觉到她文章中的狂妄自负令人反感。

abdicate[??bdikeit]v.放弃；退位；辞职；退出

He abdicated his responsibilities and fled.

他放弃自己的职责逃跑了。

seminar[?seminɑ:]n. （大学的）研究班；研讨会

The old professor had presided over a seminar for theoretical physicists.

老教授主持了一次理论物理学家的研讨会。

incur[in?k?:]v.招致；蒙受；遭遇

People who smoke incur a great danger to their health.

吸烟的人给他们的身心招致了很大的危险。

令人厌烦的说话习惯有损你的专业可信度。

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我们要确保在语言和行动上都承担起责任，这会保护我们的专业可信度。

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我们正在为他人做出榜样，鼓励他们承担起自己的责任。

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If our subordinates sense that we are abdicating responsibility, they in turn may take it as acceptable behavior when they are asked challenging questions.

in turn：依次；轮流；反过来

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We must constantly be aware of how each word we choose reflects our beliefs about ourselves and our responsibility in the matters at hand.

be aware of：意识到

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