A stringy sentence is a sentence in which too many ideas are crowded together.As a consequence, a reader may soon find that such a sentence is hard to read and even harder to understand.For example:
In school yesterday the lights went out, and we were in the dark for about an hour, because the electricity was off, so we couldn't use the computers, but our teacher still wouldn't let us go home early, and later on, we heard that a car had hit a streetlight, and that the driver had been killed.
With just a few changes, the above could be made much more acceptable.Observe the same“sentence”with minor revisions:
In school yesterday we were in the dark for about an hour after the lights went out.Without the electricity, we couldn't use the computers, but our teacher still wouldn't let us go home early.We heard later that a car had hit a streetlight and that the driver had been killed.
There are various ways to correct a stringy sentence.The following stringy sentence is used as an example.
Many students attend classes all morning and they work all afternoon, and then they have to study at night, so they are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Method one: Separate into sense groups (意群).
Many students attend classes all morning and they work all afternoon.Then they have to study at night.As a result, they are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Method two: Subordinate.
Many students, after they attend classes all morning, also work all afternoon.Because they have to study at night, they are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Method three: Subordinate and combine.
Many students who attend classes all morning, work all afternoon, and also have to study at night are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Method four: Use participial phrases.
After attending classes all morning, working all afternoon, and studying at night, many students are usually exhausted by the weekend.
Practice 2-4-1
Correct the following stringy sentences.You can use any method or a combination of the four methods you have just learned.Just be sure that your corrected sentences are easy to read and make sense.Answers are provided only for the first two sentences as suggestions.
1.When his wallet was stolen, he was left penniless in a foreign country, and he couldn't even pay his hotel bill.
2.Ken has a part-time job, he doesn't have to work, but he chooses to.
3.Yesterday it snowed, and we went skiing, but we did not go skating.
4.Sandra enrolled in an advanced computer class, but she found it too difficult, so she dropped it.
5.We wanted to play tennis, but we thought it was too hot, so we all went swimming instead.
6.She is our teacher, and she is an amiable person, and she has her unique method to train our creative abilities.
7.Not only is listening a valuable skill, it is also conductive (有……影响性的) to good health, studies show that when we talk, our blood pressure goes up, when we listen, it goes down.
8.The earthquake destroyed some flyovers (立交桥) , and it leveled several buildings to the ground, and it caused many casualties, so it was a real disaster.
9.In our hotel, many rooms are available, whenever you come, you can check in, and when you leave, you must check out before 12: 00 p.m.
10.That night the river overflowed its banks and spread over the lowlands, and thousands of people were left homeless by the time the waters receded (后退).
11.When Janice arrived at the supermarket, she had a painful thought, she had clipped (剪下) the coupons from the newspapers, but she had forgotten to bring them.
12.There were still twelve people at the party, but after Jim went home we decided it was time to leave, so we collected our coats and said good-bye to the others, and, after a careful drive home at 50 km/h, we drank coffee and stayed up until three o'clock the next morning.
Practice 2-4-2
1.Write a short paragraph in which you discuss how you balance social activities and school work.Be sure to avoid stringy sentences.
2.Write a short paragraph in which you describe a typical day in your life or your routine work in a day.Be sure to avoid stringy sentences.