Local revisions aim at refining the language and style of your writing in order to make your work more pleasant to read. This requires a great deal of patience and accuracy. You may have to revise essays several times before you decide that they are satisfactory and meet all the requirements defined by your course instructor.

1. Proofreading

Proofreading means examining your text carefully to find and correct typographical errors and mistakes in grammar, style, and spelling. Most people devote only a few minutes to proofreading, hoping to catch any glaring errors that jump out from the page. But a quick and cursory reading, especially after you’ve been working long and hard on a paper, usually misses a lot. It is better to work with a definite plan that helps you to search systematically for specific kinds of errors.

Here is some advice on your proofreading advice:

·Do not rely entirely on spelling checkers. These can be useful tools but they are far from foolproof. Spell checkers have a limited dictionary, so some words that show up as misspelled may really just not be in their memory. In addition, spell checkers will not catch misspellings that form another valid word. For example, if you type“your” instead of “you’re” “to” instead of “too” or “there” instead of “their” the spell checker won’t catch the error.

·Grammar checkers can be even more problematic. These programs work with a limited number of rules, so they can not identify every error and often make mistakes. They also fail to give thorough explanations to help you understand why a sentence should be revised. You may want to use a grammar checker to help you identify potential run-on sentences or too-frequent use of the passive voice, but you need to be able to evaluate the feedback it provides.

·Read slowly, and read every word. Try reading out loud, which forces you to say each word and also lets you hear how the words sound together. When you read silently or too quickly, you may skip over errors or make unconscious corrections.

·Circle every punctuation mark. This forces you to look at each one. As you circle, ask yourself if the punctuation is correct.

·Read the paper backwards. This technique is helpful for checking spelling. Start with the last word on the last page and work your way back to the beginning, reading each word separately. Because content, punctuation, and grammar won’t make any sense, your focus will be entirely on the spelling of each word. You can also read backwards sentence by sentence to check grammar; this will help you avoid becoming distracted by content issues.

·Ignorance may be bliss, but it will not make you a better proofreader. You will often find things that do not seem quite right to you, but you may not be quite sure what is wrong either. A word looks like it might be misspelled, but the spell checker didn’t catch it. You think you need a comma between two words, but you’re not sure why. Should you use “that” instead of “which”? If you’re not sure about something, look it up.

Table 1 Symbols to Use in Proofreading

(From: http://www.learnnc.org/lp/media/uploads/2009/09/editingmarks.png)

Activity 3-1: A proofreading practice

The following passage contains ten errors. Try to find and correct them.

2. Revising sentences for variety and style

a. Revising sentences for variety

Variety is easy to recognize and define. It means a mixture that is not monotonous. Style, on the other hand, is not that easy to pinpoint. Its presence in a piece of writing is unmistakable but not showy. Like tact, style is conspicuous in its absence but subtle in its presence. A passage that monotonously uses the same kind of sentence over and over again is not only boring, it is also without style.

We do not like to begin more than two sentences in a row with the same word; and we do not like to end more than sentences in a row with the same word, either. Our aim is to write a succession of sentences that do not appear cut from a cookie cutter. If you find yourself using several sentences of the same kind in a row, go back over the material and change them for the sake of variety.

Activity 3-2: Changing sentences for variety

The following paragraph reads a little monotonous in its sentence style. Could you revise these sentences for variety?

Poetry is regarded by many as the highest literary art form. Poetry is seen nowadays as an unpopular form. Poetry used to be read very widely by the middle classes. Poetry no longer enjoys that distinction and today is hardly read by anyone.

My revised version:

b. Revising sentences for style

Research papers usually consist mainly of information found in books, periodicals and other sources that you incorporate into your writing. Therefore, a question you should bear in mind is: What is the tone or “voice” in the essay? Does it feel natural?

Activity 3-3: Using an appropriate point of view

Compare the following two statements. Which one do you think is more appropriate in the academic writing? Why?

(1) In my research I found that the most extreme negative criticism of Jefferson Davis places the full weight of the Southern defeat on his head.

(2) Research indicates that the most extreme negative criticism of Jefferson Davis places the full weight of the Southern defeat on his head.

Activity 3-4: Using unbiased language

Each of the following sentences contains a word/words that is (are) biased. Please find them out. Discuss why these languages are biased and what you can do to make them unbiased.

(1) A doctor should always look after the best interest of his patients.

___________________________________________________________________

(2) Man is a tool-building animal.

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(3) Every artist has learned from those who came before him.

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(4) A good policeman knows his duty.

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3. Revising words for accuracy and exactness

a. Revising words for accuracy

The best writing is concise and to the point. It uses a vocabulary appropriate to the subject. If you know your topic well, you will be exact in writing about it. Your readers will know exactly what you mean because you will tell them without being vague or fuzzy. You’ll use the right technical terms and pile on details when necessary.

Activity 3-5: Revise diction for accuracy

Read the following two paragraphs taken from the first and second drafts of a student paper on the origin of Indian castes. What differences do you find between the two? And how is the second version more accurate than the first one?

The First Version

The occupations of the four major castes were spelled out in the Laws of Manu: The Brahmin were the highest, the Kshatriyas came the second, the Vaishyas followed, and the Sudras were at the bottom of the pile.

The Second Version

The occupations of the four major castes were spelled out in the Laws of Manu: The Brahmin were to teach, interpret the Vedas (holy scriptures), and perform the required ritual sacrifices. The Kshatriyas were to be the warriors and social governors (even kings). The Vaishyas were to tend the livestock and to engage in commerce in order to create wealth for the country. As for the Sudras, they were to become the servants of the three higher castes-doing their bidding without malice or resentment.

b. Revising words for conciseness

One of the most efficient ways to improve your writing is to edit it for conciseness. You may have been struggling to think ideas through as you wrote—and piled up alternative wordings. Or you may have fallen into the habit of using more words than necessary just to use up space. If you can let your original draft “cool down” a while, you will find it easier to recognize unnecessary words and edit them out. Your reader will thank you!

Activity 3-6: Revising diction for conciseness

The following sentences (or passages) are written with redundant words/phrases. See what you can do to make them more concise.

(1) The anthropological study of the Incas used computers.

(2) The ratification of the agreement by the board requires a vote of a majority.

(3) During that time period the park area was populated with Indians who were sullen in appearance and made a living by working with silver metal.

(4) The problem of world hunger is by and large a matter of business and politics. Basically the two become virtually entwined until for all intents and purposes they cannot be addressed separately in any given city or country.