Personal space is an approximate area surrounding an individual in which other people should not physically violate in order for them to feel secure and comfortable.The amount of personal space required for any given person is subjective.For instance,the person who is used to busy city life,especially riding on crowded subways,might be more tolerant of others impeding on his/her personal space than someone who lives in a more rural area.Actually,the person who is accustomed to having his/her personal space respected may turn to be extremely claustrophobic and anxious when placed in a situation where personal space is a luxury.

For most people,a certain amount of personal space is necessary for their security,and it would be very disconcerting if that space is violated unexpectedly.For instance,you might feel extremely alarmed when one of the strangers came up and stood in very close proximity to your body while you were standing in a relevantly vacant airport.Such violation of personal space and the discomfort that it causes may work to keep you safe from potential threats as those who might wish to harm you.

Commonly,there are exceptions to one’s need for personal space,especially when the exceptions are anticipated.Crowded events such as fairs,concerts,and sports arenas don’t leave room for ample personal space,but the event goers generally don’t mind suspending their requirements of personal space in exchange of the fun provided by the events.

Another reason to quell one’s personal space is in romantic relationship.The lack of personal space is actually expected as well as desired in these cases.Similarly,family members often welcome hugs and affection in exchange for their personal space.A lack of personal space will create physical and emotional vulnerabilities that will cause high levels of trust on which the personal and close relationship are built.But the issue of trust as it is related to personal space works both ways which is why experts believe that intimacy in relationships helps them to grow stronger over time.

■Personal Space

Your personal space is like an invisible bubble that surrounds you.It will make you feel very uneasy when someone moves inside this bubble to talk with you.

Every one’s personal space is different.How close you normally stand to someone else when you are talking to them will depend on who it is you talking to,and under what circumstances.The following are some facts about personal space bubbles:

◇The bubble is lager when you are talking to a stranger.

◇The better you know the person you’re talking to,the smaller the bubble may be.

◇The bubble is usually smaller for two women than for two men.

◇The bubble may be larger than normal for a man and a woman who are strangers to each other.

◇The bubble may be very small between a man and a woman if they are in relationship.

◇The bubble size may differ for different cultures.

When two people are having an argument,the first thing one of them will often do is to move in close,invading into the other person’s personal space.This is interpreted by that other person as aggression.In fact,“getting in someone’s face” is the term for this case.

There are a lot of things that can affect the size of one person’s personal space at any given time.As well as the individual factors mentioned above,the circumstances in which you find yourself will also affect the size of your bubble.For example,you might find yourself much closer to a stranger you are talking to at a dance or in a line-up at a bank.

The bubble between you and the stranger will be lager if you are an introvert,but you might have a much smaller bubble while you are an extrovert.

As we have mentioned above,culture also works in determining the bubble of personal space.For instance,the bubble for people in Japan might be much lager than for people in Italy.It can be determined on a habitat level by profession,livelihood,and occupation.A person’s social position can heavily affect the size of his/her personal space,the more affluent a person being the larger personal space he/she demands.While it is difficult and highly variable to measure accurately the best estimates for personal physical space place it at about 27.5 inches (70 centimeters) in front,15.75 inches (40 centimeters) behind and 24.5 inches (60 centimeters) on either side for an average Westerner.

The last point mentioned above may lead to some interesting questions.What happens when a person with a very large personal space (who likes to keep people at a distance) interacts continually with people with small personal spaces (who like to get closer)? What will the first person’s reaction be if these people unknowingly continue to move inside his bubble? What will the people with the small bubbles feel subconsciously about the first person? Could conflicts like this have an effect on how different cultures sharing the same city view each other subconsciously?

■Social Distance

We like to keep a distance from others and there are also some particular rules about how close we can go to others in particular situations.This social distance is also known as body space and comfort zone and the use of this space is called proxemics.

What distance is appropriate for a particular social situation depends on culture.Personal preference is also a matter.People might feel uneasy if the distance is too small (intrusive) or too large (cold).It may be affected by some factors such as the different cultural standards,limited available space,interpersonal relationships,physical intimacy,or some form of rudeness.Permission is often expected if the intrusion is unexpected.Many customs are centered around just this particular issue.

◆ Why the Distance

Regulating the distances between you and other people may provides various benefits,such as:

◇Communication: When people are closer,it is easier to communicate with them.

◇Affection: When they are closer still,we can be intimate.

◇Safety: When people are distant,it is impossible for them to surprise attack you.

◇Threat: The reverse can be used—you may deliberately threaten a person by invading their body space.

◆ Comfort Zones

The social distances are a good general rule,though they are approximate and will vary with people.

?? Public Zone: 12 feet (3m)

It is generally over 12 feet for the public zone.It means that we often keep at least 12 feet between us and other people when we are walking around town.For instance,we will leave that space between us and the people walking in front.

There are also many times that we can not do this.What the theory of social distance tells us is that we will start to notice other people who are within this radius.The closer they get,the more we become aware and ready ourselves for appropriate action.

We may feel safe if we are distant from another person.A person at a distance can not attack us suddenly.If they do seem to threaten,we will have time to dodge,run or prepare for battle.

?? Social Zone: 4-12 feet (1.5-3m)

We may feel that we have connection with each other within the social zone.When they are closer,then we can talk with them without the need of shouting,but still keep them at a safe distance.

This is a comfortable distance for people who are standing in a group but maybe not talking directly with one another.People sitting in chairs or gathered in a room will tend to like this distance.

?? Personal Zone: 1.5-4 feet (0.5-1.5m)

The conversation gets more direct in this distance,and this is also a good distance for two people who are talking in earnest about something.

?? Intimate Zone: 1.5 feet (0.5m)

We can touch a person in intimate ways when he/she is within arms reach or closer.We can also see more detail of his/her body language and even look him/her in his/her eyes.When he/she is closer,he/she might blot out other people so all we can see is him/her (and vice versa).Romance of all kinds happens in this space.

It is very threatening to enter the intimate zone of somebody else.Sometimes it is a deliberate ploy to give a non-verbal signal that you are powerful enough to invade other people’s territory at will.

◆ Varying Rules

Different groups of people have different rules about social distance.You may detect this by observing people’s reflection.If you feel safe but other people seem not to feel safe,back off.If someone invades your space,decide whether to invade back or act otherwise.Turning sideways is an easy alternative for this,as a person to the side is less threatening than a person at the same distance in front of you.

?? Town and Country

For the people living in the town,the social distance may compact somewhat because they often have to be close to one another.In a large and crowded city,the distance will be less than in a small town.

People living a long way from others may expand their social distances,and may even have to lean over towards another people to shake hands and then back off to a safe distance.

?? Different Countries

Different countries also have different rules about social distances.It is very common for someone from the crowded Asian countries to talk to others from a very close distance.

When a Japanese is talking with a person from the Western countryside at a party,you will see that the Japanese will step in and the Westerner will step back.Speeded up it is like a dance around the room.